Sunday, 4 December 2011


I had just finished high school and life could not be any better,I was young, having crushes, into my appearance, getting ''toasted'' by boys and men, and I definitely was not into cooking, but this was about to change the day my brother's friend Emeka came to our house to eat. My mom had prepared native soup and probably Emeka's olfactory sense was in overdrive, because I do not know why he decided to visit as soon as the meal was ready, not only did he visit, he decided to eat EBA!!!!!!!!!!(nigerian delicacy that looks like very thick corn meal) Well in my house as at then, we hardly ever ate eba, and I never made it !!!  we ate more of akpu or pounded yam and on that day,we had only akpu, but this did not change his desire to have that soup dish and I do not blame him for that, even a prophet on fasting would have been tempted to eat that meal, the pleasing aroma emanating from the kitchen covered every inch of that home and went further to surround the compound and beyond, from the air in the house, one could taste the mixture of  dry fish,stock fish, kpomo(dry cow skin), cow leg , cray fish...ahhhhhh the thought is even driving me insane just typing it....ok, back to the story...Emeka was salivating and sent me to buy garri (dried cassava flour) which I obliged. I hurriedly left, got the garri and gave it to Emeka not knowing after I left, he had told my brother to start the water boiling, d 1st step to making eba. As I was about to settle down to continue the movie I was engrossed in before I left, I heard 4 words that changed my eba life forever, ''please make the eba'' .Haaaaaa I started having sudden onset palpitations, tremors and diaphoresis, the room started spinning. I took in a very looooooooong deep breath and tried to move my lower limbs but they failed me, after some seconds which felt like days,my right lower limb made a slow recovery and I moved with shuffling gait like a man suffering from parkinson's disease and went to the kitchen, as i stared at the bowl, the garri, and the hot water, i realised i had to solicit for help, i called my sister to help but being the mean thing that she was,she refused then i decided to make it myself, but during the course of begging my younger wicked sis,the water had cooled down, the whole eba was a mess,there was a war going on between hard lumps and very soft semi solid eba.I looked at it and realized i was a disgrace to all the girls in nigeria,i had to take it to my mom for help,she looked at it and gave me the ''you are so stupid look'' nigerian parents are good with,then thinking she was going to save her first daughter from disgrace, i smiled and pleaded with her,the words that rolled out of her mouth were like tiny arrows that caused tiny pricks all over my body,she said,''you are very stupid,since you cant do anything, go and give it to him like that'' Well i had no choice,i mixed everything together and dumped it on the table and ran away to the room without waiting to see his reaction...that was the last time he ever asked me to make EBA for him and the last time I made horrible


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