Sunday, 29 July 2012


Last week,I finally accepted the offer of my friend, Kimzy, to go to her church,CHRIST EMBASSY...She kept telling me of testimonies in her church, of how the Lord had been good to lure me.At one point, I felt myself vibrating from the ginger she was transferring into my spirit.After some days as expected, I lost the ginger,the fire and the desire to go to her church and come that sunday,I did not go.
Like a prearranged event from God, a week later, her birthday came and I had to make a promise to her that me going to her church would be her birthday gift.That Sunday, again I did not go.It was not until the next Sunday before I would make it to the church,partly because she gave me free food to eat and I felt she was looking at me, judging me, I could almost read her mind, ''eat my food and don't come to my church,for food only, that's all you are good for *long hiss*''.I shuddered at the thought and I had to make up my mind to go to her church the next day,plus I started suspecting she might feel I had Ogbanje

 My spirit was not in going truthfully,and my tooth brush confirmed it,that night during my nightly teeth care regimen,it broke and I had no spare tooth brush,there was no way I was going to go to church with foul breath,seriously, am I going to church to share the ''smells'' NO WAY MAMI. That did not prevent ever determined SISTER KIMZY,she got a new pair and waited patiently for me to get ready even though she was late.That is how I ended up going to her church that morning...

I got to church late ofcourse, it was a very small branch,they were dancing and singing to the glory of God which truly I enjoyed,I even started giving my own dance moves gyrating to Nigerian songs I had not heard in like forever. Princess saw me when I entered the church and was in a state of shock,probably cardiogenic shock, I think she expected me to immediately upon entering the church, fall down and start rolling on the ground like in 9ja movies, shouting ''fire! fire! I would confess!!!'' Well,that did not happen and I looked back at her smiling and said,''you people are looking for members abi?''

 After praise and worship, came preaching from Rhapsody, then the second preaching from the pastor.I expected his hair would be jerry curled but I was disappointed because he wasn't like the many embassy brothers I had met, although I should not have expected it because what did I expect him to jerry curl his shiny scalp? Then came the offertory/tithe collection.I was expecting ''testimony time'' but was disappointed when there was none.Then came the moment I had been dreading,one of the reasons I hate going to new churches,when I have to stand up as the newbie and fill a form even when I know I would not be returning to the church.So I stood up,they sang and I hugged almost every one in the church *have no fear, they were really few* Finally, came the counselling session with the Preacher's wife,telling me about my dearly beloved Roman catholic church and how I might not be growing spiritually there,asking why I should be praying through saints and Mary.I just kept nodding in agreement,waiting for the end of the therapy session.That marked the end of my church visit.

Yesterday,guess who came to meet me again? Yep, Sister Kimzy, asking if I was going to church and I was like ''I NO FIT ABEG!!''


@adebsrk said...

I'm not sure if I sent my earlier comment. Anyway, hope you will come of I invite you come Mosque.

Toinlicious said...

Lmao@ur Ogbanje spirit description. I think that kinda thing only happens in TB Joshua's church.

I don't get the Christ Embassy jerry curls for guys too. Is it a requirement ni?
No jerrycurl = no membership?

Toinlicious said...

Ok, please come back to update pretty please