Saturday, 31 December 2011


The story of Chinelo according to Vanguard:

Chinelo went to write her UME in Ihiala ,Anambra state and stayed over in her Mother's cousin's house.She slept on the same bed and in the same room with her second cousin Onyeka and the next morning,she woke up  feeling very dizzy and ''wet with semen'' when she went to the bathroom.She cleaned it up and asked Onyeka about it and he assured her that everything was good.A month later when she was at her sister's house in Lagos,she started feeling ill and was taken to the hospital were a pregnancy test was carried out and she tested POSITIVE (the positive sounded weird in my head like hiv and when questioned by her sister she denied having any boyfriend and a virginity test was done with the aid of a machine.


This Boko haram people have caused serious commotion,everyone is scared to go to church now.I would not have gone too,lol...I fear for my life oh!! when I have not seen my children and children's children.I cant shout abeg.

So the Bishop of Minna Diocese Most Reverend Martin Igwe Uzoukwu shifted the time to celebrate passover mass on Dec 31st to 4pm today and there would be a Sunday service Jan 1st 2012.He said that the shift was as a result of persistent calls by church members expressing concerns about safety (would you blame them) nothing would have dragged me to church 31st night am such a coward...

Tuesday, 27 December 2011


Years ago when I was in primary school,during the end of year party celebrations,my Primary school would tell its pupils that Father Christmas would come visiting.Yes!!! we called Santa Claus Father Christmas,do not judge me!!! *rolls eyes* Well basically, the students had to inform their parents and money had to exchange hands if the kids wanted to see Father Christmas and get to sit on his laps and get gifts.Thinking about it now,I wonder what the fuss was always about in getting the gifts,they were cheap and silly,Pencil,books,football,plastic cup,plastic plates and anything cheap you can think of.Trust all them Ajebota (spoilt rich kids) in the G.R.A branch of my primary school,all of them got to see Father Christmas except three kids.My siblings and I.Yes you guessed right!!!

Monday, 26 December 2011

Best song everrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!

This is someone's Mother or would be someday.I wonder why I love the weirdest things.I love love this video plus can't get the tune outta my head."I am gonna show you my geni,am gonna show u my geni"  Ok Dee seriously you need to stop humming pleeeeeeeeeeease  *screaming pulling my hair*   Viewer discretion advised .DO NOT WATCH THIS VIDEO AROUND CHILDREN EXCEPT YOU ARE USING AN EAR PIECE... I know Princess and Ade would love this video especially Princess...


December 25th 2011 has come to an end with different tales for different people.Children with new clothes have rocked it and eaten Christmas rice and Chicken.those lucky kids whose parents could afford to buy them gifts have opened them all up and thanked 'santa' for their wonderful gifts. People that cant cook like Diva have called me this morning to beg for food.People spent their day with loved ones and family.But,for Nigeria,it was awful,35 people so far have been reported dead in Madalla, Niger state.Sad stories of how after the bomb blast at the Catholic church people who had been affected, although severely injured were struggling to meet the Catholic Priest for final blessings knowing they were going to die *pause to wipe tears*

Saturday, 24 December 2011


I have been obsessed with cutting off Nipple from someone,ANYONE!!! for a really long time now.I can not  remember how old I was when I first had the thought but I know I was very young then.It all started when we(I know my siblings were with my Mom and I but I have no memory of seeing them in that car) were coming back from somewhere,probably my mom's village because I can remember we were somewhere in Delta state and we were in my mom's famous Mazda car (kai!!! that car went through hell in my mom's hands.I respect that car) then my Mom pulled over and we got out of the car and bought meat,it was different from the kind of meat we were used to buying.I knew it was not SUYA because it was not hausa men making it but as far as it was meat I was interested.When we got to the car that was when my mom shared the strange looking meat and my portion happened to be the breast with the POINTY NIPPLE!!!

Who is Santa in this song??

One of my favourite Christmas songs ever...but seriously in this song,is Santa his dad??

Thursday, 22 December 2011


Dr Sahely checked my blog and thought it was interesting.Well he did not actually say those magic words but why would he tell people to go see my blog? He was like, ''Have you seen her blog? You should go see it" *sniff sniff* Think about it,this Doc has so much knowledge,when he opens his mouth to talk,words of wisdom just fly out,sometimes I even have to distract myself from thinking how dull I am by looking at his LONG eye lashes(why should a man have such loooong well defined eyelashes....its NOT fair especially when mine is so scattered and tightly coiled like it needs relaxer).I know Princess is dying from Jealousy right now *sticking out tongue* she had been dying to hug Dr Sahely and today she finally got the opportunity,she almost squeezed out all HIS juice *wink*

Wednesday, 21 December 2011


The United States Food and Drug Administration has given approval for the first and only genetically modified killed whole virus preventive HIV vaccine to start phase 1 clinical trial to check toxicity level in humans.Whew!!! Its about time...So probably in the next 20 years we would all be getting one,good to know my children/grand children can get one...yay!! Asians are sooo smart...

Tuesday, 20 December 2011


What is this need to be better than your neighbour in health,wealth, and academic achievements? Where does this desire come from? Are we born this way? Do we seek to be better for our selfish needs or are we driven by unseeable forces using us as instruments of pleasure? Why do we find justifiable reasons to discriminate due to skin colour,religion,sexual orientation or country of origin? Is there an endocrine gland undiscovered in our body that gets bigger with age, releasing a hormone to make us discriminate or are we plain SCARED of the power we could achieve if we unite?

Monday, 19 December 2011


I know this video is offensive, he even joked about Reverend fathers and I am Roman Catholic,but I just could not help putting this up,its too funny!!!  love the way Achmed says,''Silence!! I keel you!! and the way he moves his gigantic eyeballs.I know its weird but if he had skin on his face, we could do some physical examination on him to make some diagnosis.Can you see temporalis wasting? its so perfect its awesome!!! plus that stare like someone with Grave's disease,Graves opthalmopathy,does he have eyelid retraction? check for lid I am so silly....ok watch the video enjoy..Silence!!! I keeel you!!!


The last post I put up, was a video about Bishop Oyedepo HOLY slapping a ''WITCH FOR JESUS'' and I kept wondering why he had done that and why he had also sentenced the ''witch for Jesus girl'' to hell fire!!!! but today,as if God decided to answer my questions by opening the iron gates of heaven,the answer I needed came to me in the form of a human, Ade, and I wish I saw bright light coming straight from heaven descending on Ade, it would have made my life easier today,but I did not,the only light I saw was orange, from the reflection of the cheap curtains in the room,Ade was just her regular self with her lovely dark chocolate skin colour reminding one of the reason why BLACK IS BEAUTIFUL, her face shining ever so brightly thanks to whatever powder or foundation she had used and of course,her newly made twist hair do,properly arranged twist by twist...

Saturday, 17 December 2011


I came across this video (sorry about the poor quality of the video) of Bishop David Oyedepo of Winners Chapel and I need clarification from christians.Is it right for a man of God to slap a WOMAN? not during the act of preaching or deliverance,but just for her practicing the right to freedom of speech?

Thursday, 15 December 2011


I used to always wonder why any one would just take their life,what force could push a young intelligent person to end his life? As I got older I started to understand,life is generally hard and can only get harder,if you are Christian,you would hold on to the ''if I kill myself I would go to HELL FIRE'' theory,that could give some sort of comfort and prevent you from killing yourself.

We always know when someone is about to commit suicide,they always give us tiny hints,but are we so caught up with the unnecessary things in life that we forget our sense of empathy.Are we so preoccupied with ourselves,obsessed with how we look,who likes us,who hates us,who gossips about us,that we do not notice how frustrated and sad our friend really is?

Wednesday, 14 December 2011


Awww she sounds sweet...


I do not know if all nigerians get overly excited when you see a Nigerian's name on news for doing something great,I DOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! lol. But,you can trust the media not to spread this gist,if it were a Nigerian cheating an elderly white couple of money as per 419,it would be on abc,cnn, bbc, basically every news station gist,because its only the bad nigerian gist the media loves.Well,Professor Ernest Izevbigie,the vice chancellor of Benson Idahosa University (BIU) has been inducted into United States Academy of Inventors.

Tuesday, 13 December 2011


When Michael Jackson was alive,he tried to shield his children from the lime light so they could have a childhood,the one he always felt was stolen from him.I do not think Michael Jackson would be happy with this.I just hope they are not trying to make money off his kids he tried so hard to hide them from the public....


Some friends are really wicked,why encourage someone with no talent???????????
This video is definitely going to make you laugh,not only is this video cheap and crappy,the outfits are cheap,

Monday, 12 December 2011


I just saw a story on vanguard of how a 25 year old pregnant woman went to her husband's house by 5:30am to demand for baby shopping money from her 40year old husband,only to be given 3000naira,seeing this amount,she was not pleased and started arguing with her husband,then decided the argument was not enough,she needed more action.with hormone confusion going on inside her,she decided it was best to hold his shirt,so she held his shirt at the neck and the 40year old man fell down and died!!!!!!!!

Sunday, 11 December 2011


During the long holiday that I was to transit from SS1 into SS2, I decided enough of long skirts that passed my knees and it was time 4 me to graduate into a big girl...{gbogbo bigz galz} so right before the academic session was to start, I went to the tailor with one of my freshly purchased long school skirts, I told my mom that it was too big and I wanted it to fit my frame,its not like I was even b**tylicious, but I wanted it 2 wrap around my bony frame,she gave me d go ahead trusting I was still the good child she had raised,happily I went off to the tailor and  told him to cut it short, above my knees, I was overly excited,FINALLY!!!!!!!!! I was going to rock a short skirt,I kept rehearsing walking styles,cos I wanted to come out with a BIG BANG.

Saturday, 10 December 2011


Enjoy and watch out for the continuation of BFSS, would be published soon...have a lovely weekend

Thursday, 8 December 2011


Every 9ja born and raised child know ''okada'' and the okada riders with their James Bond riding styles.Four years ago, I was staying in Lagos with my uncle,Uncle T, he was single then,living the good Lasgidi life and I was living the life with him,late nights,going out non stop,eating out,meeting women,talking loudly,speaking Yoruba(ok pretending to),partying.I was slowly becoming wild like the but this isnt the story of the day....So while living in Lagos, taking a ride in my uncle's car with the windows rolled up,air conditioning working perfectly,air fresher preventing the stench from the overpopulated city attempting to find its way into the car,sitting down ever so proudly,staring at the poorer masses standing under the scotching sun waiting on the various means of Lagos road transportation,their sweat drenched clothes plastered on their body like leech,I could not be happier,I ALWAYS had the proud look on my face like I was among the lucky few in Lagos and the queen of England(i hail her!!!),had nothing on my pride,I was IMMORTAL!!!.As if the poorer masses could not be any frustrated,it became compulsory for the commercial motorcycle rider passenger,to put on a helmet and trusting Nigerians,we always have a way of breaking the law,always wanting to get the cheaper way out.So while taking a ride in MY UNCLES CAR, I would laugh at the different helmets IGBO BOYS had created cheaply in Aba and transported to Lagos.They were the small ones that would not save any human being,not even a dog's head from having a fracture,some were not even padded with foam,some were made of wood and if you think about it,can KILL!!!! so I would laugh out loud with my uncle and heave a sigh of relief that MY UNCLE HAD A CAR and I did not have to go through the torment of those dirty irritating helmets!!!!!!!! (little did I know)....On this glorious day,I was to receive a package from Port Harcourt through someone at the airport and I had to be there on time because I was warned that the person delivering the package would not wait for me,the meeting time was set for 3pm and I informed my uncle, he assured me that by 12noon he would pick me up at his apartment.At noon,he did not show up but I felt it was ok, I trusted my uncle, he would not fail me...NEVER!!!! He not only failed me,he came blaring his horn at 2:15pm acting like it was my fault,telling me I told him 2pm, and as most of us know, Nigerian elders are NEVER wrong so he put the blame on me and I understood finally what Akon was blabbing in that song. We started our journey and trust our ever faithful Lagos with traffic,I almost died from hypertension, I looked at the left side of my chest and I could swear,I saw my top moving outward in a rhythmic pattern synchronous with my heart beat,my heart was pushing its way outta the rib cage!!!!!!!! I thought I was going to loose that package,I looked at my wrist watch,it was 2:35pm ,as I looked out of the car window,I saw an okada rider pass by,one with its passenger using a ''was white handkerchief'' as a layer before putting on the helmet probably to prevent infection or it probably had been sprinkled with holy water to prevent him from turning into goat,yam or chicken as we had heard money ritual stories,then the other passenger was a well rounded obviously Yoruba looking woman with her gifted package of wide full butt to put kim kardashian to shame and heavy gele(local scarf used by Nigerians) holding the helmet with her hand resting it lightly on her gele, I pointed this out to my uncle and I was still telling him how stupid it looked laughing,only for him to interrupt me saying,''dee I dont know what you are doing laughing like someone with no sense,you have to enter okada now to take you to the airport) with his thick Nigerian Yoruba accent....I almost died,I was like,''what!!!!!!! uncle no now,I cant'', then he goes ''shut up your dirty mouth'' at the same time beckoning on an okada rider to stop.I have no idea how I got outta that vehicle and got on the bike,but my day dreaming came to an end when I felt the okada mans elbow nudging my left b**b saying,''madam abeg try wear this thing untop head'' I looked at his left hand and saw a PLASTIC SMALL BUCKET!!!!!!!!!! it had been cut in the shape of a helmet with its handle still intact,then I asked him what it was for,then he replied, ''na for ya head so incase you fall,you no go kpai (die)'', I looked at the bucket-helmet and then I looked at myself,looking all so FRESH!!!! because in Lagos you just have to dress fresh when you go out, this was my turning point,I knew I could do it,I took the wanna be helmet and put it on my head and as soon as I put it on my head,I felt something new,something I had not felt in Lagos before,IT WAS SHAME,PURE HOT SHAME and I felt something on my cheek it was hot and I knew what it was,my tear drop,I realized I was finally human just like the other Lagosians I had been laughing at.While I was still feeling sad,trying to hide my face so no one would recognise me,I suddenly realised the okada rider had stopped and it was a little far from the airport and I wanted to know why and he said,''fine gyel i no fit go dat way,na here we dey stop,make u waka straight tru dat way and you go see airport for yonder''.I got off paid him and started my small walk to the airport,this was 3:15pm, I finally got to the arrival terminal only to be informed that THE FLIGHT HAD BEEN DELAYED!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, 7 December 2011


When a mother carries her baby, you would see females flocking around her like flies around a piece of meat exposed saying ,''awwww so cute'', but you can NEVER see me do that,I just stand there all so passive.I never know how to interact with kids,do I talk to them like adults,what do I say,how do I act? I know people see babies as cute angels,the small fingers, the tiny feet and super cute clothes that is what people see,but not me,WHY? when I was younger I never liked carrying babies they just drool and mess up my clothes!!!!! and why do people think that is cute?? plus I never thought they were fine especially the first few days of birth,to me they just looked old and wrinkled but as they grow older,they do become cute.Some weeks ago,my friend that just had a baby, gave her baby to me to hold because she wanted to cook,imagine!!! me of all people, just when I was trying to relax with the baby in my arms, it decided to poop!!!!!!!! I almost dropped .2 years ago,when I was with a friend and her 5 year old daughter, she wanted to do a running competition with me and i loooooooooove running, so she told me no cheating and I accepted, Yemi blew the whistle and the race started, I ran as fast as my tiny legs could take me,with all the nasal flaring,panting and congratulating myself that I won the race.Yemi was like Dee why did you do that, and I was like, ''ermm excuse me,she said no cheating,so I ran my best''. I did not see anything wrong with what I had done because I do not know how to act with kids,so that day,I finally learnt that you should let kids win a
I seriously do need help with kids,they are so innocent and can ask the weirdest questions, like my aunt's son who went to the pharmacy with his mom and saw sanitary pad(the type his mom had at home) and asked her infront of the pharmacist if she wasnt going to buy it,she should have respected herself by saying NO but she underestimated the child she had, by asking him if he knew what it was for,this cute boy looks up proudly at his mom,his eyes beaming and says,''its that thing you use to do like this...'' interlocking his fingers,starts moving his hands underneath his crotch in a back and forth motion and his mom is RIGHT IN FRONT of the pharmacist looking all so embarassed or another scenario where this young rich spoilt girl I met in an eatery that was screaming at her mom to stop eating that she was TOO FAT, at the same time holding the HUGE fat folds her mom had at her abdominal region showing it off to whoever cared to see.MY mom also had her own fair share of embarassment from us,when we were younger, my mom travelled to lagos and left us home alone with the househelp who was also in charge of her shop she had when we were growing up,on the day my mom returned, whilst the house help was being ''toasted'' by a random, sex starved dude that could not speak correct english,we were running wild like a pack of wolves,I had designed a top and skirt for myself from black plastic bags and was rocking it proudly,my moms shop had been ransacked and we found condoms the nigerian popular GOLD CIRCLE CONDOMS she had in her shop and curiousity took the better part of us and we opened it and noticed they looked like balloons,so we thought the best thing was use them as such,we blew air into it with our MOUTHS!!! and me the inquisitive one,always wanting to know, wondered why it was so greasy,I even licked it to know if it was sweet...imagine!!!!!!!! after geting enough GOLD CIRCLE CONDOM BALLOONS,we started running all around the place with our string tied ballons with FUNNY POINTING TIPS,we were a sight to behold,especially me with my plastic bag clothes.When my mom saw us,she almost fainted because she did not know the village looking kids were her children and to think she was gone for JUST a day,she beat us so badly that evening,I can never forget...basically kids are fun to be with but not to me because I really do not know how to deal with them.I really do hope I change when I have

Tuesday, 6 December 2011


A while back,I met this wealthy fine man, who was old enough to be my father,he offered to give me a lift when I was taking a walk close to my apartment and being the good girl (just incase my mom reads this) that I am, I declined.Weeks later, while I was taking another walk close to my apartment ( yes I take walks and I can afford to take a cab),coincidence or not, this realllly nice automobile (notice I dint type car, to emphasize how nice it was) passed me, whilst I was still scoping the car, I saw it stop and start reversing and I looked away, trying to act like I had a better car and continued walking,only for the AUTOMOBILE to come to a halt close to me and the driver of this automobile decided to honk, I looked around to make sure it was my attention needed besides I was not putting on my medicated glasses and I was half blind.He beckoned on me to look through the passenger window and I did, only to see THIS OLD PAPA!!!!!!!well, we exchanged pleasantries with me being really polite, then he asked if I lived close by and I denied saying I was going to my friends house, he wanted to offer me a ride but I told him I was good because I started suspecting ''Old man wanting young girl move''.As I was saying goodbye nicely,the next thing I heard was, ''I would really like to spend some time with you,to get to know you because you look like a  nice person'' me nice?you go fear old man pick up line besides it sounded soooo 9jerian and he then I smiled because my imagination started its usual job and I started imagining 9ja old men and the stories associated with them,to probably use my young blood to look fresh or use my b**b or tongue for money ritual and I had to tell him politely that I was busy and it would not be possible,he accepted quickly and left and I thought he got the message that I was not interested but little did I know that some days later I would be visited.It was a lazy saturday and I was being lazy only to get a knock on my door,I opened it and there he was, STANDING RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME!!!!!.I was surprised and thought that finally my eyes had failed me, I blinked rapidly and asked what he wanted and he starts saying rubbish that I could not comprehend because I was too busy staring at his old saggy cracked dehydrated lips and also wondering if his teeth were real or from a goat,VERY IRRITATING!!!!, I was so embarassed because I did not want to be seen as a ''bad girl'' by my neighbours and he was talking sooooooo loud, saying how he wanted to go on a date with me.I told him I was sick but gave him my mobile number just so he could leave... after that day, he called a couple of times before I travelled outta the country for a while, so he probably called and got tired of calling but Today,while I was out with Gini and Chi I tried calling a mechanic on my phone but ended up dialling his number cos he shares the same name with the mechanic, I started talking with the person,but noticed the person with whom I was talking with sounded very sophisticated and I looked at the phone only to realize he was the I developed sudden heart attack,one bucket of adrenaline was pumped into my system and I quickly cut the call praying he would not call back but he did, CAN U IMAGINE THIS OLD MAN???, he called right back, I did not know what to do and I threw the phone at Chi and told her to ask if he was the mechanic.Chi picked up and asked if he was a mechanic the way she said it was so funny,sounding all Igbotic and innocent at the same time.I felt bad for him, imagine Obasanjo picking up a call only to hear someone ask if he was a mechanic?, well she did a very good job but the foolish Gini that was driving started laughing out so loud I think he probably heard it,then Chi started explaining to him that she took my phone to call a mechanic but she dialled a wrong number cos he asked if he was speaking with me ( she is such a good liar!!!!!! I applaud her)

1)delete every old man's phone number from your phone except you are an aristo babe(wink)
2)have a good liar friend like chi especially a sharp enugu babe
3)do not have a foolish friend like Gini that would be laughing
4)do not take walks alone...

Sunday, 4 December 2011


I had just finished high school and life could not be any better,I was young, having crushes, into my appearance, getting ''toasted'' by boys and men, and I definitely was not into cooking, but this was about to change the day my brother's friend Emeka came to our house to eat. My mom had prepared native soup and probably Emeka's olfactory sense was in overdrive, because I do not know why he decided to visit as soon as the meal was ready, not only did he visit, he decided to eat EBA!!!!!!!!!!(nigerian delicacy that looks like very thick corn meal) Well in my house as at then, we hardly ever ate eba, and I never made it !!!  we ate more of akpu or pounded yam and on that day,we had only akpu, but this did not change his desire to have that soup dish and I do not blame him for that, even a prophet on fasting would have been tempted to eat that meal, the pleasing aroma emanating from the kitchen covered every inch of that home and went further to surround the compound and beyond, from the air in the house, one could taste the mixture of  dry fish,stock fish, kpomo(dry cow skin), cow leg , cray fish...ahhhhhh the thought is even driving me insane just typing it....ok, back to the story...Emeka was salivating and sent me to buy garri (dried cassava flour) which I obliged. I hurriedly left, got the garri and gave it to Emeka not knowing after I left, he had told my brother to start the water boiling, d 1st step to making eba. As I was about to settle down to continue the movie I was engrossed in before I left, I heard 4 words that changed my eba life forever, ''please make the eba'' .Haaaaaa I started having sudden onset palpitations, tremors and diaphoresis, the room started spinning. I took in a very looooooooong deep breath and tried to move my lower limbs but they failed me, after some seconds which felt like days,my right lower limb made a slow recovery and I moved with shuffling gait like a man suffering from parkinson's disease and went to the kitchen, as i stared at the bowl, the garri, and the hot water, i realised i had to solicit for help, i called my sister to help but being the mean thing that she was,she refused then i decided to make it myself, but during the course of begging my younger wicked sis,the water had cooled down, the whole eba was a mess,there was a war going on between hard lumps and very soft semi solid eba.I looked at it and realized i was a disgrace to all the girls in nigeria,i had to take it to my mom for help,she looked at it and gave me the ''you are so stupid look'' nigerian parents are good with,then thinking she was going to save her first daughter from disgrace, i smiled and pleaded with her,the words that rolled out of her mouth were like tiny arrows that caused tiny pricks all over my body,she said,''you are very stupid,since you cant do anything, go and give it to him like that'' Well i had no choice,i mixed everything together and dumped it on the table and ran away to the room without waiting to see his reaction...that was the last time he ever asked me to make EBA for him and the last time I made horrible


Saturday, 3 December 2011



I came across this video and it got me thinking,{ignore his really blank expression that one got me laughing},which one does actually come first? Chicken or Egg? and I conclusion was that it had to be the chicken.REASONS: My First reason is that we need the chicken to incubate the egg to hatch into a chick{talking about naturally without the incubator inventions},Secondly, God created animals{ie if you arent atheists}. Thirdly, scientists have discovered that there is a protein called ovocledidin-17 which accelerates calcite formation that in turn accelerates crystallization and speeds up production of eggshell within the chicken, so that, in 24 hours an egg is ready to be laid....haaaaaaaaa too much but tell me what you think...WHICH COMES FIRST EGG OR CHICKEN{FOWL} 

cute kids

I saw this AMAZING video and thought you might enjoy it.Check it out,its good to have talent,my children yet unborn must have a special talent...BY FIRE BY


Most of my wonderful memories are centered around this 1 small school called BFSS. It obviously was not the most adventurous school in my time but it was perfect for the weird kid that i was back then. Let me paint a picture of the kind of child I was. I was the definition of the alphabet ''i'', I had no curves whatsoever especially when u saw my closest friend Aneto, she was such a hottie with the whole package, I always wondered how a child could look so ''everythinglicious'' it just wasnt right. Well,my bony structure was not the worst part, I never got any uniform to fit my pencil-like structure,it was always too oversized,well if I think about it,why would it fit. There was nothing to create a bump, neither at the front nor at the back, there was no difference between the wall of my chest and the flatness at my back.

THE UNIFORM: I always thought the proprietress of my high school wanted something cute for a doll but since she was too advanced in age, she decided to play out her fantasy through her students. Why else would we wear in a mixed school; pink shirt, blue bow tie, blue skirt with pink and white stripes for the senior high and pinafore for the junior high with our black shoes. I always hated the pinafore, the small pimple I had as b**bs on my chest could not be noticed arrrrrrrrgh d agony!!!

THE WALK: before i describe my walk, I have to talk about the pair of socks I loved and rocked ever so proudly from junior high to 1st year senior high, the legendary COMPUTER SOCKS. Please tell me you know it, the long ones with plenty holes in them and they were WHITE. I never rolled them down, I rocked it knee high like that and I loved it!!!!! I refused every attempt to prevent me from rocking them that high even my younger sister rolled hers down, but not me, NEVERRRRRRRR...ahhhhh d joy...D only word I can use 2 describe my walk is ROBOTIC, I was so stiff in walking, I walked so straight that my brother's friend coined a name 4 my walk: POSTURE DEFENCE!!!!!!!!!! and YES i defended that name with every stiff step I could take.My head ever so straight,my upper limbs hardly ever swaying, my waist never twisting. I dont know if I was scared my butt, oops I didnt have any, I mean my bones would crack because of too much friction occuring in the hard pelvic girdle. I thank God for aneto, cos I probably would still have been that way defending my posture, she taught me how to cat walk and boy did I learn, but that girl had always been lady-like if I think about it....

SS2 the eye opening:
so after being a good girl 4 a while, SS2 I decided to tear eye....TO BE CONTINUED


So I had this brilliant idea last night and I got overly excited about it. Naturally, I told Tee about it and like I expected his first reaction was laughter, bitter sweet laughter that kept re-echoing in my head. Sometimes, I really do wonder if he would ever take me seriously, I wonder if he sees me as a 5year old girl always clinging to his leg tightly, opening her big puppy eyes begging for a piece of candy. Like seriously, I am a woman in my early twenties, that isnt so bad, I am ready to begin shooting out babies, he does not even realize how d eggs in my ovaries are screaming to become cute lil mini dee's. Well back to the brilliant idea IT WAS TO START BLOGGING. Me, blog? I know!!! i have already gotten all the reactions I could possibly get, my brother,the least supportive person told me "so u have time for useless stress'', then his next reaction was to send me a picture of  his well prepared fried plantain and egg dish with fried peppers and onions just the way I had been seeing in my dreams, it definitely sent a shiver or two down my spine and I swallowed the last saliva my poor mouth could form. I dont know if he felt sending me pictures of 9ja delicacies would somehow have an impact on my brain to automatically make me fatter, like seriously the suya pictures are enough already. I still see d suya in my dreams. 
Finally, I got a positive reaction from my sister, God bless her. Finally a supportive member of my family, that finally put a smile across my heart. Then my friend the only razz diva i know showed some positivity but suggested i use the name ''dee d mumu blogspot'', can u imagine? with friends like her, who needs enemies...Well, this is me typing away dont know if its for the attention or boredom or just a phase in my life...well i guess you never know if an action is good or bad till the deed is actually done and this is dee saying HELLO