Monday, 19 December 2011


The last post I put up, was a video about Bishop Oyedepo HOLY slapping a ''WITCH FOR JESUS'' and I kept wondering why he had done that and why he had also sentenced the ''witch for Jesus girl'' to hell fire!!!! but today,as if God decided to answer my questions by opening the iron gates of heaven,the answer I needed came to me in the form of a human, Ade, and I wish I saw bright light coming straight from heaven descending on Ade, it would have made my life easier today,but I did not,the only light I saw was orange, from the reflection of the cheap curtains in the room,Ade was just her regular self with her lovely dark chocolate skin colour reminding one of the reason why BLACK IS BEAUTIFUL, her face shining ever so brightly thanks to whatever powder or foundation she had used and of course,her newly made twist hair do,properly arranged twist by twist...

So,a bunch of us got talking Ade inclusive, the whole saga started with Lee misunderstanding me concerning how Quran was revealed like the 10 commandments tablet Moses brought from the mountain and Ade trying to explain what I meant.At this stage,I should have stopped the questions,but trust me, the persistent questioner, how can I stop?. I also asked about Prophet Muhammed (SAW) marrying a child... (Yes Lee,if you are reading this, I just confirmed it again, Aisha was 6 or 7years old when she and the prophet got married and the marriage was consumated when she was 9)  So basically,Lee started getting emotional and Ade intervened and told Lee not to take it personal and we started having christian talks and I got carried away and asked why there should be prosperity teaching in church? why should it be the main topic? because I felt I should go to church and feel guilty that I had not done enough as a christian in my actions.I should go to church and hear things that would edify my soul, If I want money talk, I can go to seminars/workshops by motivational speakers but not from Pastor who I wanted to edify my spirit.Ade was quick to defend her pastors, saying why should we go to church and hear negativity always that who would then come to church,and I am like is that the reason why we go to church,to hear things that would make us comfy so we can give more offerings cause the Pastor is saying what we want to hear?

Before I could say the name JACK ROBINSON, Ade was opening her eyeballs,which are big (*clears throat* sexy big) talking firmly with stern voice, I swear!!! I could almost see distended blood vessels at the sides of her neck and her twist hair do had loosened from the perfect bond she had earlier on and had been transformed into active snakes on her head just like they were on Medusa's head in that movie Clash of the titans and they were coming at me with their tongues and I could hear their hisses!!! with all the snake and eye ball activity going on before me,I got SCARED (I admit it), I rapidly blinked and shook my head and was about to the sign of the cross only to realize it was my weird imagination in overdrive again,her twists were still well held together,her eyes were not so big but trust this coward,I still slowly shifted further away from her (I doubt any one noticed) my heart beat louder than Adez voice,as if Princess noticed what was going on,she decided to intervene, I wonder who asked for her help like I needed one (job no pay) *rolls big sexy white eye balls* I trust my yoruba sissy, Ade, she gave her what she was looking for,see anger displacement on just kept quiet, firstly, because her eyes looked a lil teary and for the 1st time I understood why the Bishop slapped that ''witch for Jesus'' girl,he wanted to fight for his God,to shut that lying tongue up!! the infidel!!.how dare her?? and the second reason was cos I CAN NOT FIGHT!!!

Later with Princess looking like a humble wet puppy,I jokingly stated that Ade was taking it personal and she looked like she was going to slap me,just to save the wet puppy Princess,but this yoruba babe did not even try to deny it, IMAGINE !!!! she was like, ''Yes I wanted to slap you,if you were my child,I would have beat you up'' Help me thank God people (Oghene biko) for saving me from a HOLY SLAP cos if she had decided to slap me like the Bishop,I would have only said,''Sorry Ma,I appreciate ma,thanks for correcting me Ma'' because this girl typing can not fight to save her life,especially with someone like Ade that has big BAKASSI (butt),if she sits on me,I would just bring forth my gut as donation to mother earth...I cant shout!!!!

Lesson learnt: -DO NOT talk about church and pastors with Ade,she would slap you!!!
                     -If you must,make sure people are around to protect you
                     -Do not get emotional because of peoples opinion of what you believe in,because you might
                       start a WAR,its a free world Ade!!!
                     -NO MORE RELIGIOUS QUESTIONS TO PEOPLE,thank God for sweet google!!!              
                     -Pray for me to stop bringing out the HOLY SLAP in people

Lest I forget,the sweetheart Ade before we left the room came to explain her emotional break down and how she was not mad at me(can you imagine?) instead of her to be apologising for scaring me *tears*....but she really is a darling and I am dedicating this piece to her for all her troubles...XOXO


yosidoc said...

U r nt serious o! It's funny sha . Lol!

Anonymous said...


fynegurl said...

lol! i'm 99.89% sure ur hand is still shaking as u r

Anonymous said...

lmao @ wet puppy princess... cnt stop laughoing!!!

eljay said...

Pmpl... She shud hve sha slappd u. I wud ve so supportd it. Ur mouth too big u too lyk tatafo waka. Anyhu it was funi as d wrd itslf dee..xx