LOVE KISSED LOVE GOODBYE...

Love saw, love heard but love couldn't be fooled

Love cried, love smiled and love understood

Family, friends, church and logic said NO

Love craved, desired and longed for it to be

Yet, the question remains, "how can it be?"

MOVING FORWARD...

 

For a while now, I have been hiding from myself, not wanting to be found. The months rolled by with me watching, too lazy to care enough to pick Dee up from the shackles of self pity that held her in serious captivity. I had even diagnosed and re-diagnosed myself with medical conditions to aid the laziness. I had gone from Adjustment disorder when the feeling became too prolonged to Post traumatic stress disorder and Bipolar disorder with just the depressive episode and recently, I was only too happy to diagnose myself with Premature mid life crisis. I told Eljay my diagnosis and she went, "oh please. You just don't want to boil rice that's why you are coming up with this excuse. Abeg go jor". I also started thinking possible Schizophrenia and started waiting on the delusions and hallucinations to begin. Plus no!!! It had absolutely nothing to do with a particular episode of criminal minds I saw.

ANOTHER DAY WITHOUT KEIRA ... 6/9/2013

It is 5:35am, rain pouring down on earth heavily. It felt like even God almighty above did not agree with my loss, he understood how I felt and the heavy down pour was his way of showing his disapproval with earth. The week had certainly been one of the worse weeks ever and keira's disappearance just had to top it up. I guess when trouble comes, it does that in multiple waves at once(Dr E.A.Y) RIP...
     I laid on the couch, my mind on her, wondering if she was alive, probably cold, lost, hungry and alone would she be able to cope especially with her serious case of hydrophobia...
      Keira is my baby, to others she was just a dog, a common dog, but not to me. I adopted her october 8th, 2008 for my birthday but we did not get to take her home till the 10th. She turned out not as expected, the day she was chosen, while her puplings (dog siblings) came to meet me all playful, she slept on like she did not have a care in the world, yet I chose her. That unknown force made me do it.

WORDS...

Your words hurt Dee...

I do not think I have ever thought about the gravity of that phrase, nor have I ever ever deemed it time appropriate to reflect on it. I have also probably abused it with the times I have used it. In moments that those words rolled out of my mouth, I was just using them because they sounded appropriate but I really do want to put my self on a stern disciplinarian's lap and spank the hell outta my dry skinny butt.

OCTOBER 9TH...

 

Do you have one day in a year that you know for a fact would just be the most depressing day ever? Well, mine is OCTOBER 9TH of every year. My birthday is October 8th, and I always get transformed into this over excited baby on that day, always trying to feel overly special. I go all out with birthday dress, birthday hair, birthday food, birthday phone calls and it is the one day you can be sure to find me available on skype and yahoo messenger...Oh yes!!! I do loooooooooooooooove the attention.*rolls big eye balls* Let's start from October 8th 2012...

CHRIST EMBASSY VISIT NUMBER 2...

Last week,I finally accepted the offer of my friend, Kimzy, to go to her church,CHRIST EMBASSY...She kept telling me of testimonies in her church, of how the Lord had been good to lure me.At one point, I felt myself vibrating from the ginger she was transferring into my spirit.After some days as expected, I lost the ginger,the fire and the desire to go to her church and come that sunday,I did not go.

UPDATE...

I do apologise for my loooooooooooooooooong absence.I thank all those who have tried to reach me in one way or another, wanting to know what went wrong with my blogging life.I have been on a top secret mission.Matter of national security, I decided to quit the mission, I was begged to stay, bribed, almost assassinated but I refused, I know how much you guys missed me and I am back...*smile*
  So lets play catch up,my life recently...

RASTA DUDE...

I am at the Cashier's desk waiting in line to pay for my grocery, praying all I have greedily put into the shopping cart would not be too much for my broke ass. lol. In front of me, is a rasta man, his locks covered by a ''was-white'' rag/cloth whatever he felt it was.The strands of hair he called beard, lazily entangled like lovers after ecstasy. He turned back to look at me, as if he had felt my eyes burning every inch of  garment he had on.Then after assessing my goodies *yes!!! my goodies*, he smiled, arrrrrrrgh he should not have. The brown dentition with spaces all over.

DEE YOU NEED TO STOP...

All day, I have been staring at the laptop watching videos of cannibals and serial killers.I did same the whole of last night and as expected, I was scared to go to the bathroom alone.I am about to take my bath, but the fear from things I have seen and heard today, is driving me crazy.I am even scared to sleep, all that blood and flesh eating I have been watching all day *shiver* .

TAGGED...

So I got tagged by Toinlicious (I am suppose to add her link here, but I do not know how to.Someone please teach me).It feels good to be tagged though, feeling like a celeb all of a sudden.*smiles*